5 Reasons Your Alcoholic Spouse Procrastinates
A character flaw of many alcoholics is the tendency to procrastinate. Does your alcoholic spouse put everything off they can get away with? Even the functioning alcoholics I treat are procrastinators.
Here are 5 reasons alcoholism and procrastination go together like peanut butter and jelly:
1. Both excessive drinking and procrastinating are forms of avoidance.
2. Drinking alcohol lowers the drive to forge ahead on decisions and contributes to procrastinating.
3. Drinking excessive alcohol is a form of denial. Pretending it’s o.k. to keep putting things off for another day is a form of denial.
4. Excessive drinking is the “easy way out” in life (or lazy way) instead of tackling life’s problems head-on. Procrastinating is the same “lazy” approach which often leads to the same poor results.
5. Many alcoholics can be perfectionists . Therefore, facing tasks you want to do perfectly can become overwhelming. Drinking and procrastination become a way to cope with perfectionism.
The irony of your alcoholic husband or wife procrastinating is that they also put off quitting drinking! Many spouses of alcoholics get extremely resentful that their spouse keeps breaking promises about quitting drinking or going to Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meetings.
It’s helpful to ask yourself if you have any codependent tendencies that are causing you to procrastinate taking action on your own frustrating situation living with an alcoholic. Sometimes our own fears make it easy to “put things off”. Changing “you” (your codependent traits) often leads to positive changes in your alcoholic spouse.
If you want additional help turning your marriage around click here to register for my free report on, “ 5 Proven Methods For a Healthier Marriage With Your Alcoholic Spouse”. It may save your family’s life. The information in this report gives you very simple strategies that could very well save your marriage.
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2 Responses to “5 Reasons Your Alcoholic Spouse Procrastinates”
Sgiof30 on June 15, 2011
I am in alanon 3 years stopped obsessing all my time on him…then he went in to recovery…the key is not what we say but what we do…stop the dance of alcoholism. It is an energy read and most of the time they get sober. My husband hated me when I set boundaries to stay in house he had to go to meetings etc….Then by detaching: ie stop saying anything and not tolerating or waving from boundaries sent I am leaving and getting healthy to leave as with many alcoholics what came with mine was infidelity. I am not living recovery for me and as I said I am getting healthy enough to leave I gave him the opportunity to change and work. He then one day had the miracle in AA he started going on his own as I could no longer be the nag, the reason the excuse. I changed slowly for the worse for years and did not respect myself and hated him. Now in 3.5 years of alanon I love myself and know if there is ever another drink I will not take the ride. At first it was for our kids and for me to find out why I would take the ride. It is all childhood recreated wounds I am now working out. I also said I will not do this again and would not leave until I would not repeat the pattern of finding another alcoholic as suffering trauma and being a widow in my first marriage gave me a place of paralysis that I knew I had to work through. It was up to me and if I change all my relationships change. My kids are different the nightmare is over and I still have hurt which I now deal with alone and do not shame and beat him up. I always thought I would love for him to cheat so I could leave and then when I came out of denial and didnt believe lies as our gut is never wrong. I was paralized and found I had a hard time starting over again. I asked him to be my friend until I could figure out what to do…I hated him….I now realize alcoholics are not themselves when drinking and can tell you my standards where higher and I had my part meaning I was abusive emotionally and needed to change my control and holier than though attitude. I didnt relatiate for I am not drunk and I am attractive and it would not be a girl in a bar for me (a man rather) it would be a professional with drive looks and kindess. That was not in my path and thank God we are better and better alone and then better together. Life is hard and alcholism is a disease and I have my own disease of repeating my parents disfunction…Now I dont I am my true self. Hope is recovery and both must be in it to save my family!!!! Hope this helps…
Anonymous on June 15, 2011
Thank you so much for sharing all that. I hope other women who are in the same position as you will go to Al-Anon and stick with it long enough to make the necessary changes of setting boundaries and concentrating on their own lives. I hope your story will give other women the inspiration that if they make changes, things will get better.