Alcoholic Husband? 5 Tips To Handle His Lies
Are you married to an alcoholic husband?
If so, you are all too familiar with the constant lies he tells. You feel the need to “catch him” in his lies and prove to him that you know he is covering up for his continued excessive drinking. You spend a lot of energy on this type of detective work.
Here are 5 tips for you to handle his lies:1. Don’t continue to confront your alcoholic husband about his lying. Being a detective isn’t working to get through his strong denial that he has an alcohol problem.
2. Don’t provoke a fight with your alcoholic spouse over his lies. This too is a waste of energy.
3. Don’t try and track him down through texts and phone calls which he purposely ignores when he is out drinking. This puts him in a position to tell even more lies.
4. Don’t call your alcoholic husband’s friends looking for him. If he wants you to find him, he will keep in touch with you.
5. Let your alcoholic spouse know you are just as mad at yourself for putting up with lies , not just angry with him for lying. This is a good opener for discussing the impact of his excessive drinking on your self-respect and n the family.
What is the core of your alcoholic spouse lying to you? The core is his disease: alcoholism. He doesn’t want to quit drinking! His denial that he has an alcohol problem is very strong. No amount of arguing is going to get him to stop drinking alcohol? What will stop his lying?
The key is to stop rescuing him. Excessive drinking progresses when untreated. Eventually your alcoholic husband will jeopardize his job, his friendships, his marriage, his relationship with his kids, his health, and he may even get arrested. The real world may be the best teacher to motivate him to quit drinking.
Let him suffer the consequences of his drinking. Step one is for you to focus your energy on you and quit focusing on his disease. As the codependency dissolves, your alcoholic spouse’s denial often dissolves with it and healing can begin.
If you want additional help turning your marriage around click here to register for my free report on, “ 5 Proven Methods For a Healthier Marriage With Your Alcoholic Spouse”. It may save your family’s life. The information in this report gives you very simple strategies that could very well save your marriage.
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2 Responses to “Alcoholic Husband? 5 Tips To Handle His Lies”
Cameron on January 17, 2012
My husband for quite a few months now has been stopping at different ABC stores almost on a daily basis and buys anywhere from 5 to 6 airplane bottles. When he calls, after knowing him for 10 years, it is obvious he has been drinking but always says that he hasn’t. He is a mental health counselor and has to drive kids around in his car throughout the day, as well as adults. This concerns me because I fear he will eventually get a DUI, child endangerment or worse, kill himself or others as a result of him drinking whether with his clients or after they are dropped off and he throws them away before coming home. Has anyone else suffered this? If so, what do I do? I am tired of confront him and only getting lied to but the next morning, he finally says that he did it.
Dr. Uhr on January 17, 2012
Unfortunately, lying and denial are part of the disease of alcoholism.If you think he is endangering kids by drinking and driving you should report him to his professional board before he has an accident. Often losing a license to practice your profession, a DUI, a car accident is often what cuts through an alcoholic’s denial. You might contact an a professional interventionist and arrange an intervention to get the help he needs. Also, go to Al-anon where you can get support from many others in your position.