Show Compassion Toward Your Alcoholic Husband
The frustrations of living with an alcoholic spouse leaves you feeling full of anger and resentment. It is easy to forget that your alcoholic husband is a victim of a disease. Alcohol has hijacked his brain.
Every time your alcoholic spouse drinks alcohol, it feels like he is choosing alcohol over you which is a terrible feeling. There is no room for his feelings for you or your kids in his alcohol dependent brain. Why?
The reality is, you are living with an alcoholic whose brain is craving a substance. The craving is a physiologic response, a primal drive that overrides all reason. Alcoholism is a disease. Our brain plans our actions and your alcoholic husband has a defective brain, of sorts.
Let’s face it. Even doctors and lawyers succumb to this disease. Money or status doesn’t protect you. The best marriage and kids don’t protect you.
You think to yourself that you would never ignore his needs if the tables were turned. I am writing this post to encourage you to find the compassion within yourself toward the struggles your alcoholic husband is having. (Of course, I understand that you are struggling too and need support).
HIs irrational behavior with alcohol is not meant as a personal attack.
Here’s a story about a patient that might help you see your situation differently:
Jon is a heavy drinker. He and his wife used to spend time together on the week-end and truly enjoyed each other’s company. When the economy got tough, Jon’s business almost folded. Under stress, he drank more and more, didn’t always come home, had an affair, and made selfish choices on a lot of different levels. His wife left him. Jon tells me he wants to quit drinking, but is deathly afraid. Alcohol has been part of his life for so long he doesn’t know how to live without it. He always has good intentions to cut down. He feels shaky, stressed, or restless, and sweaty if he stops drinking alcohol for even one day.
Just like Jon, your alcoholic husband needs professional help to stop drinking alcohol. He may have tried to cut back on his own and failed. He is afraid to promise he will quit drinking alcohol because he isn’t sure he can.
You can help him by encouraging him to go to alcoholics anonymous meetings and you got to al-anon to get your own support. Encourage him to talk to his doctor quitting. Your alcoholic husband needs your compassion and encouragement to stop drinking alcohol. In some cases, it takes leaving your alcoholic spouse to take care of you and to “wake him up” to take action about his alcohol problem.
(If you want additional help turning your marriage around click here to register for my free report on, “The 5 Most Effective Ways To Turn Your Marriage Around To Your Alcoholic Spouse. It may save your family’s life. The information in this report gives you very simple strategies that could very well save your marriage).