Your Questions About Married To An Alcoholic Spouse
Linda asks…
Should I stay with my alcoholic boyfriend of 1 year?
I know my boyfriend is an alcoholic. I didn’t know until the last week how bad it really is. He blacks out all of the time and cannot control how much he is drinking 80% of the time. He has a great job– I guess he is a functioning alcoholic right now. Before he binged drinked on the weekends, but now that I cut him off from the bars, he is now drinking the same way at home and at the 4th of July party we were at. If he went to AA meetings and stopped drinking and I decided to stay with him (we are really serious), would I have to stop drinking completely too? I am not an alcoholic, but since we are not married and don’t have any kids, I don’t know if I should break up with him or not. He is a wonderful person sober and I am in love….this sucks! Help!
Dr. Uhr answers:
Your boyfriend has a disease, alcoholism, that changes everything in a relationship. Alcoholism is a lifelong struggle and your alcoholic boyfriend will most likely pick alcohol over you. It is virtually impossible to have a “normal” and “happy” relationship with an alcoholic husband. His brain does not have the “turn-off switch” to drink one beer and stop. Your alcoholic boyfriend’s brain is alcohol dependent and your relationship will be consumed with trying to get him to stop drinking alcohol when he isn’t interested in stopping.
An alcoholic boyfriend will become an alcoholic husband and then an alcoholic parent. Once you have kids it is much more complicated to leave. An alcoholic parent affects their children is profound ways.
My advice- get out while you can. A functioning alcoholic stays in denial a lot longer, Lastly, it is very unfair for you to drink alcohol in front of him since he is addicted. NOT drinking in front of him is a supportive gesture. Leaving him may be the message he needs to stop drinking alcohol.
If you want additional help turning your marriage around click here to register for my free report on, “ 5 Proven Methods For a Healthier Marriage With Your Alcoholic Spouse”. It may save your family’s life. The information in this report gives you very simple strategies that could very well save your marriage.
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